I Am Aware...
From TSade
I am aware...
Of my nakedness, of the ropes, of the jeers around me.
And the man in front of me, naked and horrid
With claw-like hands and a screeching voice
Muttering dark charms across my soul.
Oily slime of magic dripping down my spine
Filling me up with fear and dread.
And there is nothing I can do.
I am aware...
They grab me, too many men and too many woman.
Pulling me apart, spreading my legs.
Like a lover's caress.
And that spike, held in front of me
Shimmering with glimmering steel
Lined with smoothly machined holes
And dripping with a lover's wine.
I am aware...
Of the cold point pressing against my entrance.
A girth too thick for any human lover.
The eyes above me watching, soft and caring and hungry.
Pressure, splitting me open, tearing into my depths.
Machined holes teasing tiny flares of pleasure.
A pounding at my inner portal.
And ripping through.
I am aware...
Of being stuffed, filled, pierced.
The disgusting man, chanting with his fingers
Brushing against my breasts and stomach
Following the bulge pushing into my chest.
A muted pain as it tears
Past the cradle of unborn children.
And I cry from the loss.
I am aware...
Strong hand, powerful and firm,
Caressing yet unyielding
Holding my throat, forcing it back,
For that horrid spike piercing my throat
Tickling the back and stuffing the gap
Muting cries and screams
And breaking past my jaws.
I am aware...
Unable to make a sound, throat stuffed with metal,
Feeling wine dribbling through the holes
To keep my body moist, they claim.
My lungs scream for air around the too-thick spike.
But death never comes despite the tears.
One more shove I feel with every inch
And I am completely and total impaled.
I am aware...
Flames licking at my skin
Burning, cutting, unable to look
Unable to scream with tears boiling off my cheeks.
The slow turn gives me only a glimpse
Of flame and sky and coals and trees.
Wine keeps flowing through my metal rapist
And I am light-headed and strangely wet.
I am aware...
Unable to die in the flames,
Every poke of a fork in cooking skin
And dribble of juices flaring across my senses
I feel with unforgiving clarity.
A flare of flame and one nipple is scorched.
They douse it with wine and brush it off.
And I spasm from the boiling wine inside.
I am aware...
Too many hours later, they pull me off.
Machined lover slowly being pulled out
Each dribbling hole leaving its mark.
Unable to move except to their plates
Before the knives and forks attack,
The foul man yanks off a breast
And I feel his mouth swallowing every bite.
I am aware...
Bones picked clean,
Grease sucked from happy fingers.
Meat gurgling in dozens of stomachs.
They mount my bones in a shrine
Of pelvic bones and grinning skulls.
A temple to their dark goddess.
And then she became aware of me.
And then I was no longer aware.
t'Sade
2004-05-17
