Filled

From TSade

Sitting in a dark room,
The words of vague mysticism
Rolling in my head.
It took me a year to be here,
A year to find out if it was worth it.
A year from the point I learned
About the joys of Reiki
And the point I could be here.

Slow breaths.

I could hear her working down the line
Five and me,
Wanting so desperately to be a healer.
Twelve long months.
And now I was scared.
I heard the words,
I understood the principals.
Like Wicca, it was coming home.
An idea I already had.

But I was still scared.

Then she came up to me.
The one at the end.
Warm hands against the top of my head.
Telling me that I might feel something.
I don't know if I will.
I don't feel anything else.
A black voice of energy.
A witch who was blind to energy.

Nothing.

I felt her hands,
Then I felt it hot.
They said I would feel that.
And a lot more.
For a long moment, nothing.

Then everything.

For the second, most wonderful point in my life,
I felt energy.
Pure and clean and dribbling down my spine.
Wet sticky brightness filling me up.
Pouring into my wrists
Splashing into my legs.
It filled me,
More intensely than I knew possible.

And joy came.

I was happy,
So incredibly happy.
I felt energy,
For the first point in my life,
I could actually feel it.
I knew it was there.
It wasn't just a "you should feel something"
Or knowing it was there.
Because it was.
It was no longer my imagination.

I was filled.

t'Sade
2005-07-05